You're not alone

Matthew 16:24-26

Then Jesus told his disciples, 24“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

 Has anyone ever felt like they can never catch a break from the troubles of life? I'm sure everyone has, some even take their own lives because the bear of life can become just that great. Some people become bitter or become like empty vessels through life. There were many periods of my life, where I felt worthless, a burden to others, I was bitter towards life. I even tried to commit suicide several times. I thought my family would be better without me. However, my physical condition wouldn't allow me to do that.

I was given no other choice but to stay on this planet, work out these feelings, and face my situation, no matter how bad it was, or I thought it was. I wonder if the people who had taken the choice of suicide,  where would they be right now if they didn't have that choice like myself? What would they be experiencing after the storm has passed? What would they have learned about themselves, or about God for that matter? How would have God used their pain in order to turn it into their life long purpose.

Some people know from an experience, but most find it in their pain and hard times. Looking back now, I'm glad I was forced to stay. God used my what I once hated so much as a tool to keep me here to see what would lie ahead. This tool was my Cerebral Palsy. This is partly why now, I see it as a blessing, not a sickness I must be healed or delivered from. I am now living in heaven on Earth and not by earthly  things but, by spiritual things. One of those things being love, which is what God is made of.  God, can't help those that don't help themselves, all you need is some inner strength,  faith and know that you're not bearing your cross alone, even when it feels like it. We will forever have an alli in him, don't run from the darkness to go to the light. Let him walk you through the darkness that will ultimately lead you to the light. In there you will not only find yourself but, you will find who you're meant to be.

My prayer: My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child or someone you love not only by suicide but in any way at all. I commend you for still being here. I pray that God will help ease the pain and sadness that burdens your heart and spirit. May peace and restoration start building in your heart. Amen!

~Elia~