"Soulstin"

 I got the title "Soulstin" from the term "ghosting. When you ghost someone, you just cut them dry from your life without giving them a reason. The word Soulstin is most likely not a word you will find in the dictionary however, to me in means the poem means Ghosting in the spiritual sense to be one on one with God and disappearing from this chaotic world in a spiritual sense in order to follow God and allow him to heal and mend our souls when they are broken and weary from the troubles of this fallen world. This is the most spiritually intense poem I've ever written in my life! Now, that you know the meaning, I want to share it for all to read and share! I hope it impacts you the same way it impacted me :) 

"Soulstin"
I'm prayin' to God in the late night hour for you,
I'm prayin' to cast these dark thoughts into the fray,
I'm soulstin through to find a better way, fearing I'll get lead astray from the tears I cry from being pushed away,
My heart screams in agony from the inside, 
I'm soulstin' with God to keep the devil from stealin my peace of mind,
I wanna fly with angels towards the eternal light that embraces them in the heavens,
I'm soulstin' to keep my heart from being attacked trusting and believing Jesus has my back with his mercies overcompensating for what I lack,
When my core comes down, he'll cradle me in his arms while he wipes the tears from my eyes,
I'm soulstin it with God because when it's all said and done, my soul yearns to be with him united as one.
©2019 Elia Wilson "all rights reserved"

Trust God

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

If there is one thing that we could all admit is that it is very hard for us to trust in general. For Christians like myself, it's also hard to trust in God. We love God and we hope but, often times when things look dark or not the way we wanted, we often rely on ourselves or other people to try and fix it, instead of asking God to help us and casting our cares upon him. For example, I am the queen of worry, I worry and stress about everything and everyone. 

However, when I do cast my cares upon him completely, I feel a sense of peace and things get resolved. The last couple weeks, I have been working on doing just that. I stressed about friendships ending, sickness, and the negative possible outcomes instead of casting my cares on God. When we trust him, we have to keep in mind that his time is not our time and our plans may not match with his. His plan for our lives turns out to be much better than we could have ever imagined. We grow through pain that life brings, people come and go out of our lives for different reasons in different seasons of our lives. In the end though, he doesn't give us more than we could handle. He is with us and helps us as long as we ask, believe, and trust in him.

~Elia~

Silence

Communication plays a huge part in any kind of relationship. Without communication there can be no relationship. However, there comes a time where relationships go silent. Whenever this happens, there's only so much communicating a person can do, if the other party's communication is very short or non-existent. As human beings, we need relationships in life in order to live a happy and healthy life. 

This year has been a year full of lessons in relationships so far. I'm learning when to keep fighting for them and when you just have to let go and let God and move on. We all say things from time to time that hurt each other's feelings, when this happens, you may need to have time and stay silent until you can speak from your heart and not in the heat of the moment, where we often say things out of anger we don't mean. It also gives time for us to reflect and see if the relationship that you have is worth keeping or letting go. These moments of silence say so much about us and what we think about a person more than our voices can. 

However, what happens when the period of silence is over on your end and the other party is not reciprocating the same response? The best thing to do is to let go. It may be hard but, once you know your worth it's easier to do. In a healthy relationship, you don't have to try so hard. If you try so hard, it ends up becoming toxic and emotionally draining you. If you or anyone you know are currently going through this, please know you're worth, even if they don't. Know that there are people out there who do or who will. People that know your worth, will be in your life no matter what. :)

~Elia~