"Soulstin"

 I got the title "Soulstin" from the term "ghosting. When you ghost someone, you just cut them dry from your life without giving them a reason. The word Soulstin is most likely not a word you will find in the dictionary however, to me in means the poem means Ghosting in the spiritual sense to be one on one with God and disappearing from this chaotic world in a spiritual sense in order to follow God and allow him to heal and mend our souls when they are broken and weary from the troubles of this fallen world. This is the most spiritually intense poem I've ever written in my life! Now, that you know the meaning, I want to share it for all to read and share! I hope it impacts you the same way it impacted me :) 

"Soulstin"
I'm prayin' to God in the late night hour for you,
I'm prayin' to cast these dark thoughts into the fray,
I'm soulstin through to find a better way, fearing I'll get lead astray from the tears I cry from being pushed away,
My heart screams in agony from the inside, 
I'm soulstin' with God to keep the devil from stealin my peace of mind,
I wanna fly with angels towards the eternal light that embraces them in the heavens,
I'm soulstin' to keep my heart from being attacked trusting and believing Jesus has my back with his mercies overcompensating for what I lack,
When my core comes down, he'll cradle me in his arms while he wipes the tears from my eyes,
I'm soulstin it with God because when it's all said and done, my soul yearns to be with him united as one.
©2019 Elia Wilson "all rights reserved"

Trust God

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

If there is one thing that we could all admit is that it is very hard for us to trust in general. For Christians like myself, it's also hard to trust in God. We love God and we hope but, often times when things look dark or not the way we wanted, we often rely on ourselves or other people to try and fix it, instead of asking God to help us and casting our cares upon him. For example, I am the queen of worry, I worry and stress about everything and everyone. 

However, when I do cast my cares upon him completely, I feel a sense of peace and things get resolved. The last couple weeks, I have been working on doing just that. I stressed about friendships ending, sickness, and the negative possible outcomes instead of casting my cares on God. When we trust him, we have to keep in mind that his time is not our time and our plans may not match with his. His plan for our lives turns out to be much better than we could have ever imagined. We grow through pain that life brings, people come and go out of our lives for different reasons in different seasons of our lives. In the end though, he doesn't give us more than we could handle. He is with us and helps us as long as we ask, believe, and trust in him.

~Elia~

Silence

Communication plays a huge part in any kind of relationship. Without communication there can be no relationship. However, there comes a time where relationships go silent. Whenever this happens, there's only so much communicating a person can do, if the other party's communication is very short or non-existent. As human beings, we need relationships in life in order to live a happy and healthy life. 

This year has been a year full of lessons in relationships so far. I'm learning when to keep fighting for them and when you just have to let go and let God and move on. We all say things from time to time that hurt each other's feelings, when this happens, you may need to have time and stay silent until you can speak from your heart and not in the heat of the moment, where we often say things out of anger we don't mean. It also gives time for us to reflect and see if the relationship that you have is worth keeping or letting go. These moments of silence say so much about us and what we think about a person more than our voices can. 

However, what happens when the period of silence is over on your end and the other party is not reciprocating the same response? The best thing to do is to let go. It may be hard but, once you know your worth it's easier to do. In a healthy relationship, you don't have to try so hard. If you try so hard, it ends up becoming toxic and emotionally draining you. If you or anyone you know are currently going through this, please know you're worth, even if they don't. Know that there are people out there who do or who will. People that know your worth, will be in your life no matter what. :)

~Elia~

Patience & Healing

I strongly believe patience and healing are one of the main components that you need to live a freeing and full life. The world is already congested with so much bitterness and hate, and for what? Surely not for the people who hurt us. It doesn't benefit either side especially yourself. I have been carrying bitterness in my heart for years. I have NEVER EVER stayed bitter for long. I never thought I would ever struggle with this particular thing. I was the person who overlooked any wrong done to me. All that would change in late October of 2016 when a friendship was taken from under me by someone who had come into my life and barely knew.

 That was the year I experienced what being in love and pain really was. I cried for a year, my heart throbbed every day as a result of anger, pain, and sadness I felt. It would be almost two years before things took a positive turn and I could finally start on rebuilding the friendship that had once been torn down. Almost two years have passed and my life has done a 360 but, unknowingly, I still had bitterness towards this person. I didn't know just how much until I saw them again. Ironically, I had church that same day. The message was about how how we should not give up on people and how we should forgive what they do. All the while he was saying this. I was listening to God say: "they aren't going to judge you, you need to confess this and let it go." At the point, I started crying hysterically. I kept saying, "I don't know if I will make it to heaven, because I can't......I can't, I've tried and I just can't forgive." At this point, I was releasing my pain through my tears. After hearing other people and their testimonies, I was finally set free.

A couple weeks later, I met a man whose becoming my best friend. He was very clear about his intentions with me from day one. He wants just to be friends and if something eventually develops great and if not, we will just have an amazing friendship and I'm okay with that. He doesn't have a disability but he is going through some physical difficulties that I can definitely relate to. At this point we are helping each other through this crazy thing called life with one joke at a time. He doesn't see me and my disability, he just sees Elia. The same thing could be said about my other two besties and other people in my life. I'm rich in love and second chances. 

Like me however, you won't fully experience the abundance of what life has to offer you, until you let go of the past and embrace your present to see a bright future :)

God Bless,
~Elia~

"The Spark"

Morning all! Happy Thanksgiving!!!:) I want to start off this blog by apologizing. I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in almost two months. I hit a dry spell and I've had some obstacles in the recent months and to be honest, it put my mental and spiritual space in a grey area. If I can't think of anything positive or uplifting to write about, I just won't blog. This is blog is meant to shine God's light unto those who may need to feel loved or encouraged. 

Anyway, this is a glimpse of what has been going on the last few months for all you new readers or subscribers. I've struggled with getting a handicap van and with transportation in general. Well after 10+ years of struggling, I finally got my van in October of this year!!! However, this van is fourteen years old. The first few outings were a nightmare! Something always went wrong. The tires were old, so I kept getting flats. Certain buttons were hard to work, etc etc. 

Y'all I was so disgusted! I kept thinking, "God, why would you give me a van with issues along with it?" I thought my family would go broke trying to fix everything that was going wrong with it. Along with that, a new friendship was being tested. Y'all, I was at my breaking point, little did I know, God was working behind the scenes and stretching my spiritual muscles.

 Even though, we may hit our "glowing season", God will stretch  our spiritual muscles. How many of you know that if you don't exercise your physical body, you will get stiff. Our spirit is no different. If everything goes right all the time, we have a reason to exercise our faith! 

Long story short, we replaced all the tires, got to go to the Toby Mac concert, I've been waiting forever to go to. It was awesome, by the way. Not only is the friendship that was being tested on the mends but, a new friendship was made and is now blooming beautifully. I am now experiencing something called, "the spark". The spark is when you, man, and God are in harmony together. God, may be temporarily closing a door to add to your life and/or stretching your spiritual muscles. Is this going on in your life right now? If so, stay in faith, it's not over, it's just starting! :)

Bless y'all!!!

P.S. How do y'all celebrate Thanksgiving/Christmas? Let me know in the comments below!

Your threshing floor

Luke  3:17
His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.”

This morning I was on my computer and something who I believe was God kept telling me to stop what I was doing to look up Luke 3:17. I did not understand it at all, so, I did some research on this scripture and I also asked God for wisdom and understanding in order to convey the message to the best of my ability. This may be the toughest blog I've ever written to date, because I don't to mislead or lead anyone astray. I am  a work in progress as we all are. Therefore, I will say what I think the message it self means to me. If I am wrong however, please don't be afraid to let me know.

At one point or another, we all have to clean out anything that is negative or weighing us down in every way including spiritually. Some people mediate, some write things down. Christians pray and how they pray depends on their religion. Your threshing floor I believe is your spirit and the winnowing fork is the word of God and the burning of chaff means the surrender or dying of the old you and the unquenchable fire represents the everlasting desire to become better or know more of the word of God and what stands for.

How is your threshing floor?  

God loves us all

John 3:17

 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

We often put too much pressure on ourselves to live according to God's "rules" when all he wants you to do is have a relationship with him and the rest will follow. Everyone's relationship with God is different according to how and who we are. We often judge others because they aren't where we think they should be in Christ. In reality though, God knew our journey as well as what it would take for us to get there. Some of us find him when we are small, teenagers, adults, near the end of our lives, or not at all.

God however, gave us free will to believe or not believe. Christians like non Christians shouldn't condemn others based on their beliefs. God wants everyone to come to and follow him. He could force everyone to follow him but, that's not what God is about. God is about love, patience, and understanding with Christians and non Christians alike. Unfortunely,  these principles are losing themselves more and more in our world today. We need to start letting these things shine again. In the end, God made us equal no matter how society views us, or says. We should all respect each other regardless of where we are with or without him. All in all, build each other up and love each other through and peace, understanding and growth will take place which would and could bring us closer to God.